Rights and responsibilities

You might be thinking about having sex during schoolies. It's important to know what your rights and responsibilities are. It's your right to stop sex at any time. It's your responsibility to ensure the person you're having sex with has given their consent, otherwise it's a crime.

Sex and the law

The law makes rules about sex and sexual touching. It says that any sexual touching without your agreement is unlawful. The law also sets age limits for having sex, and applies whether it's between people of the same sex or of the opposite sex.

The law applies to sexual penetration, which includes anything that involves a penis touching a vagina, anus or mouth. It also includes putting an object, or another part of the body into contact with a vagina or anus. The law also applies to touching a person in a sexual way, like touching another person's vagina, penis, anus or breasts.

If you're 16, the law says a person cannot have sex with you if they are more than two years older than you, even if you agree. And if you're under 18, it is illegal to have sex with a person who is caring for you or supervising you (e.g. a teacher or a youth worker), even if you agree.

Remember, two people cannot have sex if one of those people does not want to. If you don't agree and someone threatens you or touches you without your consent, they're breaking the law.

Sex and consent

Consent is when one person agrees to do something. When it comes to sex and relationships consent is really important. It's up to both parties to make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable every step of the way.

Non-consensual sexual activity is against the law. This kind of activity can include touching and kissing. Not only is it a crime but rape and sexual assault leaves emotional scars for everyone involved.

Part of safe sex is making sure that what you do and who you do it with are things that you decide.

Is there consent?

Consent for sex only happens if someone tells you they consent. Always check that the person you are with is happy with the situation by simply asking them.

Some people use non-verbal communication to say 'no' - things like not responding to your touch, pushing you away, stiffening their muscles, holding their arms around their body or turning away from you are all non-verbal cues. Your best response is to stop and ask them if they're OK and if they want to continue.

Stopping sex

You always have the right to say 'no' and you always have the right to change your mind. If you want things to stop at any time:

• tell the person to stop
• tell them 'no' or 'I don't want to' 
• if you want to distract someone and end the situation you could say you are going to be sick - people react pretty quickly if they think someone is going to vomit

Related links

Victoria Legal Aid - Sex and the law
Information about the Victorian laws for sex and under 18s.

Reach Out! - Consent and sex
Information about consent and sexual relationships, including what it means, its importance, how to know if a person has given their consent, recognising non-verbal cues, slowing down